2017 Day One

January 2, 2017 - Leave a Response

GREATER ARE YOU
CITYWORSHIP

VERSE 1
I HAVE READ AND I HAVE SUNG
ALL THE SONGS OF YOUR LOVE AND WHAT IT’S DONE
I HAVE PRAYED AND I HAVE PRAISED
TO THE BEST THAT MY ABILITIES ALLOW

PRE-CHORUS
BUT MY GOD I KNOW THAT I’M YOUR CHILD
AND ALL YOU ASK OF ME IS TO BELIEVE

CHORUS
GREATER ARE YOU
OVER THE WORST OF PAIN
UNDER YOUR LOVING RAIN
I’M RESTORED
NOW ALL THAT I AM IS YOURS

STRONGER ARE YOU
YOU CARRY ME IN YOUR EMBRACE
UNCHANGING THROUGH ALL OF MY DAYS
MY REWARD
IS KNOWING THAT I AM YOURS
LORD I AM YOURS

VERSE 2
I HAVE SEEN THE THINGS YOU DO
IN A SUDDEN HARDENED HEARTS BEGIN TO MOVE
AND I KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOOD
IN THE THUNDERS I AM UNDER ALL OF YOU

BRIDGE
ALL THAT I AM
I PLACE IN YOUR HAND
ALL I DESIRE
TO LIVE IN YOUR PLAN
LET MERCY SURROUND ME
AND GRACE OVERWHELM ME
IN MY WEAKNESS LORD HELP ME TO STAND

Thankful 2016

December 31, 2016 - Leave a Response

What a ride.

Last year, this month, was when I took that step of faith to be back on His track.

It took so much persuasion from Him but God didn’t give up on me. As I look back on the ways He called the stubborn me back to Him, I stand in awe for a loving Father who loves me so much. From the wheelchair bound tissue auntie, to DAB, to H, it all meant so much to me.

Everything was God’s plan. To get me back just so that He can plant the correct people to pull my through 2016. It would be exaggerating and ridiculous to say that it was tougher mentally as compared to losing M 4 years back but it’s true. I personally pray that no one will have to go through what I went through.

Times when I was so discouraged, gave all I could and still felt so inadequate. Times when I got down on my knees with desperation and felt that I couldn’t anymore, God saved me.

I honestly can’t imagine life without Him. It was one of the toughest battle in my life.

As much as I have gone through, I was tremendously blessed as well.

Looking back, I thank God that I was able to graduate. I remembered how I thought I wouldn’t be able to graduate. Not forgetting the appearance of D. :’)

Months after graduation was filled with much uncertainties till date but what amazed me was things were already planned by the big boss up there! The numerous overseas trips. Some were heart-wrenching, some were just alright but the last trip was A-MA-ZING.

So thankful for the opportunity to embark into my very first Humanitarian trip this year. It was something that I always wanted to do since many years back as a teenager when we were called to do Community Involvement Project. I was tremendously blessed.

As 2016 draws to an end, I thank God for His provision, grace and most importantly His love which I least deserve. To a greater 2017!! πŸ™‚

 

😞 

November 17, 2016 - Leave a Response

I really don’t know how long more I can tolerate this. 

” You sounded like she’s your responsibility. ”

What is that suppose to mean…? 

I’m so frustrated. I’m the closest yet my point of view was never understood or even taken into consideration. 

I’m so upset… 😭😭😭😭😭

Disappointments.Β 

October 18, 2016 - Leave a Response

Disappointments are inevitable but why does it still hurt so much despite knowing that the reply would not be surprising? 

Is that what we call… expectations? 

The presence of being there means so much to me. Am I not worth that few hours of sacrifice? ☹️ 

I don’t know what kind of courage took me to express my feelings to πŸ™†πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ† but I’m glad I did. The reply, that exact sentence, meant so much to me. I believe it definitely took so much love and courage to type that as well. 😭❀️

“You want me try talk to him?”

I’m so amazed, but how someone can be filled with so much love despite the pain he/she is going through. I’m just so thankful and blessed. 

Wrecked

October 18, 2016 - Leave a Response

I was upset. Upset that an innocent sentence like ” δ»–δ»¬ζ˜―θΏ™ζ ·ηš„ε•¦….” actually brought such a huge argument. 

I never wanted it and it was of zero intentions of betrayal but just a sentence which I thought can bring forth reconciliation. 

I don’t think I can forget the state of shock I was in and the amount of words by the people around me to clear that innocent sentence I’ve made didn’t help. 

I felt helpless and couldn’t think of anything to make things better. That desperation to speak to πŸ™†πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ† was so intense yet I couldn’t. 😞 

M.

October 18, 2016 - Leave a Response

Funny how πŸ™†πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ reminds me of M. Probably because of the age gap. 

What a coincidence to have dreamt of M too when none of the night thoughts before bed was about her. 

The movie, interlocking of hands and hugs. I probably just missed you more than any other days. 😭 

Ohana.Β 

September 29, 2016 - Leave a Response


Just by looking at this particular photo brough back so much flashbacks of my 2D1N stay there. 

Heartwrenching is the only word I can use to express but it is definitely an understatement of what I’ve seen with my eyes and heard with my ears. The amount of emotions accumulated within that 48hours is just too much for a person to handle and I just couldn’t bring myself to have to see them go through it in the upcoming days, months and probably years……. 

Kinship is very important but I guess every household does it differently which made me envy the kinship they have back there very much.

How it is possible for me to feel so much for them when I have only seen them with less than a palm number of times? 

How it is possible that they can mean so much to me with just that little amount of time spent? 

How is it possible that the image and impact they have left in me made me miss them so much that I wished that I could spend the rest of my life with them every single day? 

God, there’s only so much a person can do and help… lead me to the rock higher than I am, teach me to love them, be there for them, lay down my life for them just like how You did for me…. 😭

Lousy.

September 14, 2016 - Leave a Response

There’s so much feelings in me that I wish I could pen down every single one of it.

It was a decision that I made back then to stopped blogging since I have the habit of penning down only negative thought and event but I guess this is really the only way that I can express myself best.

But really, what would you do if you were me?

Exactly a year back when Varsity started, I never knew it would be my toughest struggle in life. The first term was a breeze, to the extent that my mates would directly mentioned to me that I’m going out and enjoying every single day instead of going back home for revision. Ofcourse, I took those words likely where I manage to pull through last minute revision with decent grades.

Not long after I made the decision to go back to church. It was with much hesitation but I knew that God was calling me back with all that reminders from my circle of environment that I myself is amazed by:
1. The wheelchair auntie who sung with so much love, selling tissues packed with His word
2. Numerous reminder to go back by Dr. A
3. H who brought me to her church a few times
and some small event that I cannot recall but I thank God for He make all things beautiful in His time. I wouldn’t have gone through Varsity if not for returning back to church.

I never knew it would be of such a huge distress on me to the extent that I have become another person. Someone that I never knew.

I felt so selfish throughout, everything was just about me, myself and I but there was really no other things that I could comprehend. The point of breaking down was so intense every single day and I thank God that this phase has officially ended at least for now.

Not forgetting how afraid I was in losing my bestfriend. We drifted and I guess we both knew but the problem definitely lies with me for not having that extra time I could offer Β as I was struggling. Just two days back, we got back this long conversations we used to have and I am so very thankful that it was of quality and this bestfriend of mine is still the same constant one that I always knew. :’)

Tonight, we had a long talk on the phone which we haven’t had for so long. I miss those conversations where we can confide into each other. We may not have the solutions to the problems but it is really how comfortable we can be in allow us to share our thoughts to each other. To me, my greatest weakness is to help people that I love feel better and I really hope as everyday comes I will be able to handle them better so that I can see them smile more than ever.

 

 

Watch “Passion 2007 – How Can I Keep From Singing” on YouTube

March 24, 2015 - Leave a Response

https://youtu.be/3Of0ntOdDZU

Exactly exactly how I have been feeling…..
Tough week i had, as crazy and discouraged I may be be it at work or home or anything else but I can so thankful beyond words thar tears can flow nonstop. Thank You Jesus. I’m tpuched beyong words for Your kindness, grace and mercy. :'(:'(:'(:'(:'(

Thankful 2014

January 4, 2015 - Leave a Response

Despite the craziness, I’m so thankful I can burst into tears.

Often in 2012, I thought the hardest was over but I’m proven wrong times and times again.

M, Grandpa, Dad, Me.

Physically I’m fine but mentally who really knows?

I’m always astounded by the news but I know deep inside that God will not put me through things that I wouldn’t be able to overcome.

Health is so important. I never really understood until I became one of the victim. I was scared, trembled, helpless and didn’t know what I should do because I knew I couldn’t and none of the solutions were immediate.

But God was and is now faithful, everything I asked for were always granted or even given back more than what I asked for.

Christmas, the season of giving. I thought of just treating it as a norm and give everyone simply the same but when I got reminded that it is the season of giving, I wanted to give more which I eventually did despite the big hole in my small tiny pocket.

To my surprise, God gave me more. 😭 so many folds back and I’m so so thankful for. 😭

MacBook, iPhone, best doctor on earth, exceeding the amount of 13th bonus I asked for despite the length of stay in the workplace.

What else should I be unappreciative for? 😭
I’m definitely the least deserving but God gives so willingly. 😭

So thankful.. So thankful on Christmas 2014…😭😭😭😭😭

I’ll fight strong in 2015.
I will, I can, I must. πŸ’ͺ